英文幽默笑話(huà)小故事
笑話(huà)來(lái)源于生活，卻又可以讓我們的生多些歡樂(lè)、開(kāi)心，現(xiàn)在，一起來(lái)開(kāi)心爆笑下。
英文幽默笑話(huà)小故事【1】
Wherever I drove my old car over 55 miles per hour ,it vibrated terribly, so I decided to sell it.My first customer wanted to buy the car, and I battled with my conscience over whether or notto tell him of the vehicle's problem. Finally I did the right thing. Expecting him to drop the deal, Iwas surprised by his reply. That's okay, he said. I'm buying this car for my daughter. If shecomplains about a vibration, I'll know she's driving too fast.
每當(dāng)我駕駛我那輛舊車(chē)時(shí)速超過(guò)55英里時(shí)，它就劇烈地震動(dòng)起來(lái)，所以我決定賣(mài)掉它。我的第一位買(mǎi)主想買(mǎi)這輛車(chē)。圍繞是否告訴他這輛車(chē)的問(wèn)題，我經(jīng)歷了一番良心的較量。終于我做了件正確的事情。我想他會(huì)放棄這個(gè)交易，卻對(duì)他的回答吃了一驚。 “那沒(méi)什么，”他說(shuō)，“我是給我女兒買(mǎi)這車(chē)的。如果她抱怨震動(dòng)的話(huà)，那我就知道她開(kāi)得太快了。”
英文幽默笑話(huà)小故事【2】
teacher: walter, why don't you wash your face? i can see what you had for breakfast this morning.
老師：沃爾特，你為什么不洗臉?我看得出你今天早飯吃了什么。
walter: what was it?
沃爾特：我吃了什么?
teacher: eggs.
老師：雞蛋。
walter: wrong. that was yesterday.
沃爾特：錯(cuò)了，老師。那是昨天吃的'。
英文幽默笑話(huà)小故事【3】
A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking around until he finds a big patch of ice. He heads into the center of the ice and begins to saw a hole.
一個(gè)酒鬼打算要去冰上垂釣，于是，他收拾好了用具到四處逛了逛，直到找到了一大塊冰。于是他在冰的中心開(kāi)始鋸洞。
All of a sudden，a loud booming voice comes out of the sky. "You will find no fish under that ice.”
突然之間，一個(gè)急速擴(kuò)大的聲音從天空中傳來(lái)。“你不會(huì)在冰的下面找到魚(yú)的。”
The drunk looks around, but sees no one. He starts sawing again. Once more, the voice speaks，"as I said before, there are no fish under the ice.”
這個(gè)酒鬼朝四周看了看，但是沒(méi)有人。他又開(kāi)始鋸了起來(lái)。那個(gè)說(shuō)話(huà)人的聲音又一次傳來(lái):“我剛才已經(jīng)說(shuō)過(guò)了，冰的下面沒(méi)有魚(yú)。”
The drunk looks all around, high and low, but can’t see a single soul. He picks up the saw and tries one more time to finish.
那個(gè)酒鬼又向四周從高處到低處的望了一番，但是，連一個(gè)人影也沒(méi)有看見(jiàn)。他又拿起了鋸繼續(xù)進(jìn)行他的工作。
Before he can even start cutting, the huge voice interrupts. "I have warned you three times now. There are no fish!”
就在他馬上要鋸斷冰面的時(shí)候，一聲巨大的喊叫聲打斷了他:“我現(xiàn)在第三次警告你，這下面沒(méi)有魚(yú)!”
The drunk is now flustered and somewhat scared，so he asks the voice，"how do you know there are no fish? Are you God trying to warn me?"
這個(gè)酒鬼神情慌張甚至覺(jué)得恐懼，于是他問(wèn)了那個(gè)聲音:“你怎么知道這下面沒(méi)有魚(yú)?上帝呀，難道是你在警告我嗎?”
"No,” the voice replied. "I am the manager of this hockey rink.”
“不是，”那個(gè)聲音回答他:“我是這個(gè)冰球場(chǎng)的經(jīng)理。”
英文幽默笑話(huà)小故事【4】
A teacher said to her class： “Who was the first man?” “George Washington，”a little boyshouted promptly. “How do you make out that George Washington was the firstman?”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently. “Because，”said the little boy，“he was first inwar，first in peace，and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”But at this point a larger boyheld up his hand. “Well，” said the teacher to him，“who do you think was the first man?” “Idon't know what his name was，”said the larger boy，“but I know it wasn't GeorgeWashington，ma’am，because the history book says George Washington married awidow，so，of course，there must have been a man ahead of him.”
有個(gè)老師問(wèn)班上的學(xué)生： “誰(shuí)是第一個(gè)男人?” “喬治·華盛頓，”一個(gè)小男孩當(dāng)即叫道。 “你怎么知道喬治·華盛頓是第一個(gè)男人呢?”老師問(wèn)道，寬容地微笑著。 小男孩說(shuō)：“因?yàn)樗菓?zhàn)時(shí)第一，和時(shí)第一，國(guó)人心中第一。” 這時(shí)一個(gè)大點(diǎn)兒的男孩舉起手來(lái)。 “那么，”老師對(duì)他說(shuō)，“你認(rèn)為誰(shuí)是第一個(gè)男人呢?” “我不知道他的名字，”大點(diǎn)兒的男孩說(shuō)，“但我知道不是喬治·華盛頓，老師。因?yàn)闅v史書(shū)上說(shuō)，喬治·華盛頓娶了一個(gè)寡婦，所以在他前面肯定還有一個(gè)男人。”
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