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¡¡¡¡Ó¢ÕZ(y¨³)ЦԒ¶Ìƪ£ºTwowhales

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¡¡¡¡Two whales, a male and female, are swimming off the coast of Japan when the male sees the whaling ship that killed his father.

¡¡¡¡Excited at the opportunity to avenge his father’s death, the male whale says to the female, "Let’s go underneath the ship and blow air through our blow holes. That ought to knock their boat over, and make them think twice about killing innocent whales!"

¡¡¡¡The female whale agrees, and the plan works perfectly. Once the ship has sunk, the male whale notices sailors making their way back to shore by either swimming or in lifeboats.

¡¡¡¡Not willing to let them get away so easily, the male whale yells, "They’re going to shore! Let’s go gobble them up!"

¡¡¡¡The female whale becomes less cooperative, and declares: "I agreed to the blow job, but there is NO WAY I’m swallowing seamen!"

¡¡¡¡Ó¢ÕZ(y¨³)ЦԒ¶Ìƪ£ºAndwhatifIswallowit

¡¡¡¡A man enters a barber shop for a shave.

¡¡¡¡While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.

¡¡¡¡"I have just the thing," says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

¡¡¡¡The client places the ball in his mouth and proceeds with the closest shave he has ever experienced.

¡¡¡¡After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"

¡¡¡¡"No problem" says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow, like everyone else does!"

¡¡¡¡Ó¢ÕZ(y¨³)ЦԒ¶Ìƪ£ºfournunsatconfessional

¡¡¡¡One day there was four nuns at confessional. The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."

¡¡¡¡He asked how. She said, "I saw a man’s private part."

¡¡¡¡He told her to wash her eyes with holy water.

¡¡¡¡The second nun comes in and says, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned."

¡¡¡¡He asked how. "I touched a man’s private parts."

¡¡¡¡He told her to wash her hands in holy water.

¡¡¡¡Then he heard the third and fourth nun fighting. He asked why they were fighting.

¡¡¡¡The fourth nun said, "I’m not going to put my mouth in the holy water after she sits in it!"

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